The Ansible Project
by DJsapien
Summary: Ender and Shinji take time out from their chaotic lives to reflect on their existence. In such a lonely universe, these two desperately want to be friends, but there is a problem: one of them hails from reality and the other hails from a prophetic vision.


**Ender's Game x Evangelion**

**Author's Note: Just finished watching the "Evangelion" original series as well as "End of Evangelion". After reflecting on the series as a whole, I couldn't help but make a comparison to Ender's Game.**

Summary:

Ender and Shinji take time out from their chaotic lives to reflect on their existence. In such a lonely universe, these two desperately want to be friends, but there is a problem: one of them hails from the present reality and the other hails from an imaginative vision of a calamity that will inevitably come to pass. Which boy is real, and which boy is a mere shadow of possibility? Oneshot.

**The Ansible Project**

_And God made two great lights, great for their use_

_To man, the greater to have rule by day, The less by night, altern._

_ -John Milton, Paradise Lost (bk. VII, l. 346)_

_ Who would not, finding way, break loose from hell, . . . . And boldly venture to whatever place_

_Farthest from pain? _

- John Milton, _Paradise Lost (bk. IV, l. 889)_

Ender sat with his arms wrapped around his legs. Was what everyone said true? That what happened wasn't a simulation? That he and his jeesh had just murdered countless Formics? Bile rose in his heavy chest as he attempted to rationalize the situation.

The boy felt shadows swiftly change shape around him. A strange coolness overcame him for a brief moment, but then…something strange happened. In the tips of Ender's ears, and the fleshy bulbs of his toes, the boy began to feel warmth, a sensation that could only be assigned to the presence of another human. The teen opened his eyes to find that he was sitting on the floor of a shadowy room with shivering blue light that bounced along the ceiling. Ender's eyes opened wide with disbelief as he saw that sitting across from him, another boy his age and dressed in a similar pilot suit was crouched on the floor with his head in his hands.

"You," whispered the Wiggin boy in a hushed shock, "Who are you…and where am I?"

The strange boy looked up from his position and shrugged his shoulders tiredly.

"I…don't know where I am either….I was in my Eva cockpit not too long ago…"

"Oh…well my name is Ender Wiggin, what's yours?"

"Shinji Ikari."

Ender stood up and walked over to the boy to shake his hand. Puzzled, the boy cautiously took the boy's hand and also stood to meet him at eye-level.

"You say that you are a pilot, Shinji? I'm also a pilot, but I have no idea what an Eva is."

Before Shinji could answer, an amorphous blue cloud appeared underneath the fourteen-year-old, scooping up him and his acquaintance so that they were able to recline on it.

At first, the boys panicked until the calm coolness that enveloped them before had returned to their bodies. Normally, they would be in a fit of hysteria at the sudden appearance of so strange an object. Instead, they felt extremely relaxed.

"You know that warm feeling you get from your mother?" asked Shinji languidly.

"Yes?"

"I wonder what this feeling is supposed to be like."

At first, Ender was not sure what Shinki was talking about, but the more relaxed and open that Ender felt while resting on this cloud, the more that Ender felt that he knew exactly what Shinji was referring to.

"Maybe this is the feeling that you should get from your brother," said Ender wistfully, "Not like I should know, anyway—my brother hated me and would only use me and my sister to carry out his whims."

Just saying the word "brother" made Ender realize how much he wished that he and Peter had a normal relationship.

"Or maybe," began Shinji, "this is how an embrace from your father should feel. I guess that I wouldn't know that though…my father hated me. He would only use me whenever it suited him. That bastard…"

"You were telling me what an Eva was?" asked Ender. He did not want to lose such a pleasant sensation over harsh words.

"Oh….yeah…it's this angel that NERV made. You know—to fight off the angels after the Second Impact?"

Ender scratched his head. "I have never really heard of the Formic Invasions being described as the Second Impact…. what is NERV?"

Shinji thought about the boy's question and realized that something was very wrong. Sure, the allied powers made sure to cover up the Evas to a certain extent, but this boy's obliviousness was inexcusable. Ender just had to know about the Second Impact and NERV.

"Ender…."

"Yeah, Shinji?"

"You're not from my world…. are you?"

Ender thought about Shinji's suspicion and let the concept take hold of his dazed mind.

"I guess….that's the only way that any of this makes sense. The…room. The cloud. You and your story….come to think of it…I don't even remember how I got here. One minute, I'm in the cockpit, fighting off Bugger simulations with my friends….and then…I was told that we won. That we beat the real things…that what happened wasn't some simulation or a test…it was the real deal. Everything after that is a pretty big haze."

"I g-guess t-that in your world," stammered Shinji, "you guys were attacked by bug…aliens. And you probably passed out after you won….But in my world, we were being attacked by angels, so me and some other kids my age were pilots of these Evas….these big suits that were made of the souls of angels we had stolen. The Evas were made by humans, but they still had the soul of the angels. We were using the Evas to fight off the angels to prevent the Third Impact….that is….the third time that angels would attack us. I remember being inside my Eva, but then….nothing…I don't really remember what happened next."

Shinji sighed. He knew that if it were not for the cloud, he would be having a panic attack at the realization of what happened and that he could not remember how he appeared in the strange room.

"Shinji, how were you and your friends chosen for piloting the Evas?"

"I'm not really sure. I was chosen because my father sort of…blackmailed me into doing it. At first, I thought that I had no other choice but to do it, but then I realized that I could've left anytime. I realized that I was only doing it to please a man who didn't value me anyway. I don't know why I'm doing it now, though—I can't do anything right."

"Well, in that regard,", began Ender solemnly, "I envy you, Shinji. I wish that I _was_ bad at…something. My problem is that I'm too good. I was chosen to go to Battle School for training because I was so smart, because I was so good at making difficult decisions. But the kids at Battle School, the teachers, the generals...everyone sees me as this perfect soldier, but they can't see me for what I am. I'm just a kid. My friends and I are just kids. But they don't care about that. Where's our say in this? Who cares if Petra was a brilliant tactician? They broke her down so much that she can't decide something as simple as whether to get out of bed for fear of failure. Who cares if Alai or Bean are remembered in history for taking out millions of Buggers? They're just kids and already, they have blood on their hands! They don't _get_ a childhood—none of us do! I'm supposed to be this…this War Prodigy, but I just start crying everytime—"

Shinji waited for Ender to wipe his tears and finish.

"—everytime I think about how I _murdered_ all those damn Buggers! They had mothers and fathers just like us….but I'm the only one who sees that….I'm the only one who's cursed with seeing and remembering it."

An awkward silence pervaded the ethereal space as Shinji reflected on his experiences as an Eva pilot. Did he regret killing the Evas? No, he never really felt bad for them. Most of the time when he regretting being a pilot, it was only when something he did put Rei or Asuka in danger, or the time when he nearly killed Toji at the order of his father. The closest thing he ever felt to regret for killing an angel was when Kaworu was destroyed. But…that was _different_.

Once Ender had composed himself, Shinji continued prodding him for answers about his world.

"Who are Petra…or Bean…or Alai?"

"They're my friends and co-pilots. Until recently, Petra was always really outgoing and a real tomboy, but battle really messed her up. She kind of took me under her wing and we sort of developed a friendly rivalry after she taught me so much. Alai is my best friend. He's a good guy. He's really sympathetic and he never hesitates to use his powers of persuasion to get people on my side. Wow…there's just so many of them…Bean…Chen….Han Tsu…..Fly Molo….I mean, I could sit here and name them, but you really have to meet each and everyone of them to really understand them. They're all…so different."

Shinji shrinked further into the cloud once he heard Ender list so many friends so quickly.

"What about you, Shinji?"

"Well….I don't know if you can really call them friends. Sometimes I really like Asuka, she sounds a lot like your Petra, but…sometimes I really hate everything about her. She's my co-pilot too, but we don't really have…the healthiest relationship. We often fight a lot. Sometimes she gets so mad at me because I'm just naturally better than her at syncing with my Eva, which is something you can't really control anyway. She just thinks I'm inferior to her, which is why she's so hard on herself. She's not afraid to tell me what she thinks about me either. Well…I guess Rei could also be considered a friend. She's my other co-pilot but…our relationship is…distant. We never fight or disagree, but that's only because we never really interact. I suppose that may be as much of my doing as it is hers. She's not interested in socializing with people at all. I also sort of hold her at a distance too, because my father cares about her more than he cares about me. It's just….strange. My father can't even hide the expression on his face whenever he sees her. She is definitely like his substitute child or something. Toji slowly became my friend after kicking my ass…but I didn't really begin to take his friendship seriously until he became an Eva pilot and he almost died because my father forced me to fight him because his Eva was infected. And then there's Kensuke. I really can't stand him sometimes because he begs me and everyone else so that he could be an Eva pilot, but he doesn't understand half of the problems we have on a regular basis. I wish I was him….to not have a reason to be anything other than a normal kid."

Ender swallowed a lump in his throat as he listened to Shinji's story. Immediately after the teen finished, Ender began to feel relieved that he at least had friends that loved him and parents who always let him choose what he wanted to do with his life.

"That's…really sad, Shinji. They all sound really cold. Is there anyone who you could say is your unconditional friend?"

"Yes….Misato. She took care of me and became the legal guardian of Asuka and me. She was the only one who really believed in me when I didn't, but…I think that…I think that she's dead."

"I'm sorry, Shinji. Your world sounds…so lonely."

"It is, Ender. I wish for you the best of luck, but I warn you."

"What? You warn me about what?" at this point, Ender's attention was completely focused. The haze of the cloud began to wear off as the walls of the strange blue room began to dissipate and twist.

Shinji also took notice of the changes and began to panic once the sedative wore off.

"Ender…I think that this is a dream, but…which one of us is the dreamer? I m-mean, naturally I think that I am the dreamer because I have my own consciousness and I recognize my thoughts as my own."

Shinji's panic became Ender's panic.

"I know what you mean, Shinji. I feel the same way. I feel like I exist…but what if I don't? What if my life was just a lie in your head?"

Shinji bit his lip in frustration as he gripped the material of the blue cloud and concentrated.

"Before I leave, I want to tell you something important. When I was taken over by Rei and an angel, I fused with her and I learned that humans must have free will. They have to be able to make choices even if it causes pain and suffering. No matter how bad things get, Ender, you have to know that being able to have a choice and make mistakes and suffer from them is better than not having a choice at all. Being able to make a choice means that your life matters—that you make a difference. Suffering from mistakes means that you exist and that without those bad times, you can't feel anything good or worthwhile. I think…I think it's all coming back to me. In my world, everyone dies but we die knowing the truth. In case you are the dreamer and I am the lie, I want you to take this truth with you. It doesn't matter if this seems like a mere dream later on, I just know that I was sent here to give you this message. Tell everyone!"

Ender let out a scream of terror as he saw his friend begin to bubble along with the walls. Ender himself began to deform and burst.

"Shinji, in case you are the real dreamer, I want you to know that no matter how your world ends, I am your friend. You don't have to die without knowing that you made at least one good friend. Well, three if you count Toji and Misato."

And with that, Shinji smiled and mouthed the words "thank you".

Ender awoke from the strange reverie and felt the sweat roll down his limbs. He saw that he was attached to an IV and that he was back in his old room at the Command School. Cautiously, Ender grabbed his Desk from the desk behind his bed and began typing a message. Once he clicked "send", he laid back in his bed and let out a soft sob. He was relieved at the revelation he had, but nothing could prevent him from feeling that he had just condemned his friend to death simply by being real.

_I'm sorry, Shinji. It looks like I'm the dreamer._

Bean rolled out of bed once he heard the beeping of his Desk telling him that he had a new message.

_Dear Bean,_

_ I'm aware of that famous philosophy author that you have been corresponding with. As a favor for me, please send him this file that I attached and tell him that Ender Wiggin personally would like him to get this file published. I know that this sounds really weird and if he asked me how I came upon it, just tell him that I had a near-death experience. It's complicated, but it's really important that this message gets out._

_ P.S._

_Thanks for everything, especially for being such a great friend._

**Please feel free to review!**


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